Being Offensive (Part I)

Twice in the last twenty-for hours I have offended a young woman.  They are friends with each other and both situations were completely independent of each other.

My experiences with both of them and their respective circumstances are quire different.  The first was a matter of honest self-disclosure that the girl felt disrespected by my words, the second was humor they crossed her personal boundaries.

It was near midnight on my birthday, May 22.  Some of us were sitting, others standing around the campfire.  There was ten of us, me being the only one NOT in their early twenties.  It was a night full of connection, communication and ceremony.  One of the ceremonies included two rounds of sweat lodges.  Ten people sitting in a circle inside a structure of branches tied together in the shape of a dome covered with a large blue tarp with a door to enter and exit.  The first round we all agreed that we would exit as a group if anybody needed to leave.  We didn’t need to.  The pile of heated rocks in the center pit with water poured on top produced an incredibly hot space full of fresh steam.  We were seated naked, cross-legged on the ground.  We sat close enough to have knees touching.  On my right was a man whose knees barely made contact with mine.  On my left was a woman who rested her knee on my thigh.  She was the only one I found physically attractive when we first arrived.  I was glad to be so close to her.  An advantage to poor eyesight is that when I take my glasses off, which I did, I don’t see as clearly.  It was beneficial because when we disrobed before entering the sweat lodge, we were all standing around the fire, naked.  I was able to make out male and female, short and tall, thin and stocky but most of the details were not clear to me.  Except that I could tell that nobody in the group colored their hair, colors I can see without my glasses.  It was helpful not to get turned on by the young naked bodies before trying to focus and respect the sweat lodge we were about to participate in together.  I had enough sensory overload as it was with poor vision.

During the first sweat, we shared songs, prayers and chants together.  There was a few times the steam produced erratic breathing for me.  I began to panic, which increased the altered breathing even more.  My back stiffened, hands clinched and I sat firm and erect to support my breathing.  I almost asked if we could exist but wanted to hang in there to support the group and my ego.  When the time was right, we all agreed it was time to exist, crawling out and quickly jumping into the cool brook about fifteen feet away.  The change in temperatures and sensation was stimulating and also felt very cold on my skin with all the pores open and exposed. 

About twenty minutes or so later, while sitting around the fire enjoying the dry warmth, we agreed to do another round of sweats but to make this one “a scorcher”, it was.  Our process this time was that folks could exit individually if the need or chose to do so.  I was the second to leave.  The intensity of the steam, not heat itself, created too much panic in my system.  They all came out together about five minutes later.  For the next couple of hours, we talked and shared together naked by the fire.  Me and the twenty-somethings on my birthday in my birthday suit.

I also had the opportunity to do some Reiki with one man and two of the women throughout the rest of the night.  For me, this was why I was there.  The session with the attractive woman who rested her knee on my thigh during the first sweat was deep, intimate and powerful for both of us.  The energy filled her head first, where she had a headache all day.  It then slowly moved down her neck, to her upper back and the finally to her lower back where my hands were placed for quite a bit of time.  It is fulfilling for me to participate in someone else’s process and feeling the connection with their heart center, belly and physically between us.  She was very open and willing to allow the process to do whatever was needed. Although I just met her, the trust, respect and honor was at such a high level which was even more impressive based on the fact that we were both naked in front of a group of other folks.  Reiki tends to forge these kinds of bonds in spite of those involved and their resistance.  The woman herself was shy, introverted, kind and either naive or innocent or some combination of the two.  She had not experienced Reiki or anything like it previously, she was fairly new to this kind if stuff.

When two people that don’t know each other connect, and bond so naturally in cases when they are both shy or cautious, it strengthens my faith and inspires me to keep on keeping on.  It is a form of evidence that penetrates beyond fear, reason, and intellect.  It is how I know this stuff is real and effective. I do not know how folks who do not have similar experiences survive and stay afloat.

Reiki is not typically experienced with folks naked, this changed my mindset on physical touch with her, especially due to her age, and forced me to create more fluid boundaries.  It seemed to work effectively and she received the session very well.  When we were done, there was no more headache, her face was clear and colorful, clear sparkling eyes, strong erect posture and her energy was soft, warm.  She appeared very comfortable in her skin, body and mind.  This is typically the highlight of the session for me personally, to witness the shared gift.  I get all tingly inside and feel my smile big and bright.

May 25, 2008 Charlottesville, VA (close by at least)