Getting Personal(s)

It is 12:15 a.m. and I am having trouble falling back to sleep.  I went to bed a little past 10:30 and woke at 11:35 that was over an hour ago.  It is very warm in this room; this contributes to my lack of ability to return to sleep. As does the snoring of the man in the next room.  He is an excellent Qi Gong Teacher and Practitioner.  I have enjoyed his company, except when sleeping.  It is fairly common for me to have disrupted or irregular sleep patterns when processing energy at high levels and volumes.  I have also been going to bed between 2:00-3:00a.m. the last few weeks.  The end result is me sitting-up, criss-cross-applesauce with pen and paper writing and yawning.

Last week I was up late bored and viewed photos and profile on Yahoo Personals.  For reasons I don’t know, I went ahead and set-up a profile and downloaded some photos.  It was both awkward and fun to do.  Round One produced a boring, unattractive and inaccurate representation of me.  Round twp was more fun, creative and felt more like me.  How bad can you do with Rumi, M.L.K. and me?  Se where am I going with this?  What is it I am looking to accomplish by posting my profile/photo on Yahoo Personals?

Interest.  Sparking some interest feels good to me.  Just having the opportunity to semi-flirt (it is the internet and there is no ego confusing me on Yahoo Personals) and maybe create an opportunity for friendship or a date is exciting.  Do I have visions finding love through the Internet?  Skeptical at best.  Can I see myself going on a date with an attractive, intelligent, independent woman and maybe even kissing her goodnight?  Yes, I do see that as a possibility.

Amongst a host of the reasons for me doing this, the timing is interesting.  I posted it with Williamsburg, VA as my home, which is where I was when I wrote it.  I don’t even know if I will be in Williamsburg ever again, but I may be there next week.  Also, I don not have a “real home” or job for the first time in many years.  Why now when I am the least attractive catch?  Simply put, these external circumstances withstanding, this is actually the time when I am the most attractive catch- I am happier, healthier, more genuine, comfortable with myself and alive than I have been in a while, maybe in this lifetime.  Again, I am not sure that translates into American social norms and culture as a “Great Catch”.  In that world, it is all about “security” but it is what it is.  Ironically, there really is no such thing as security in real life, it is an illusion we hold on to feel safer and in control.

So, while lying here bored and warm, I was reflecting on some of the women I have made contact with.  I was wondering if they have written while I have been offline during the Qi Healer Intensive and think that I am not interested.  That would be kind of funny; clearly there is a reason I made this post, identified Williamsburg as my home, reached out to some women and it is all happening now.  It may take some time and the process to unfold for me to unravel this mystery.  There is also a reason I am choosing to Get Personal(s) right now in my life.  I have Faith in how my life manifests, in spite of myself and my need to fuss with things.  I have made enough decisions that were less than wise with positive results to let evidence like that be discounted or thrown away.  I look forward to the Teachings, Healings and experiences that are about to express themselves as I continue to Get Personal(s) via Yahoo.